I'll Think About That Tomorrow

"I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow."

Name that book. I'll give you a hint. It's...left with the breeze. Adios with the gust? See ya with the puff of air? Fine, fine, fine. Gone With the Wind. When the main character, Scarlett, feels overwhelmed or isn't able to control things, she just simply decides to "think about that tomorrow." I think tomorrow my brain is going to have a busy day. 

 

We put our house on the market. My biggest concern has been getting the house ready and cleaned and decluttered. I've been preoccupied and only just now, about five minutes ago, realized that selling this house means we have to leave. Well, we could stay but I'm not sure how a new owners, whenever they come along, would feel about that. Actually, I am sure. They wouldn't like it.
 

 

Of course I knew this process would lead to buying another place. But knowing and knowing are two totally different things. I haven't taken the time to think about leaving the place that has held so many memories. We haven't even sold the house yet and I'm feeling nostalgic! Someday we will drive Lily by this house and tell her that it was her first home. We planted that tree there in the front yard. I took her for walks on those sidewalks when she wouldn't stop crying. I know we will make new memories at a new place but I just really like these old ones too. 

Life goes on and stuff is just stuff. Memories are about the people more than the place. But if I keep thinking about these memories, I think I'll go crazy. I think I'll just think about this tomorrow. 

Cousin Love

Cousin love is a special kind of love. It means being bound by more than just family and more than just friendship...it's a combination of both that somehow creates a special bond.  

When I was a kid, I would dream about my cousins moving into the houses around me. We would go to school together and play outside and have awesome sleepovers. Instead, I had to settle for Christmas dinners at my grandparents house when we would shove a years worth of life into three hours of conversation. Or handwritten letters. Do people even do that anymore? 

Cousins are special and Lily has some pretty great ones. 

FREEDOM!!

Well, it's partial freedom but we will take it! We went to the hip doc and she said that pesky hip is definitely stable!! And the bone that just couldn't figure out how to curve has stepped up to the plate and is starting to curve quite nicely.

What does all this mumbojumbo mean? Well, it means this little chica gets six hours of brace free time each day!! We are so excited!! Sure, it would have been nice to be totally brace free but it would have also been nice if the doctor bought us ice cream and gave us sombreros (you can never have too many sombreros). 

Thanks for praying and thanks Jesus! Five weeks ago, we were praying for any improvement. The doctor was talking about casts and surgery and wanted us to know that the braces don't always work. And today...now...that hip is stable and this little squeaker gets to learn to roll and kick. We are so happy and so excited and so incredibly thankful. We go back next month for another check and are praying that we can get rid of that silly brace for good. But for now, we are embracing the brace freedom!! 

10 Weeks

This little muffin is 10 weeks!! She is in the two digits now which is pretty big stuff!

She is starting to coo and "talk," mostly when we change her diaper. And she's really starting to hate the rhino brace. We go to the hip doc on Tuesday and we are praying our faces off for some good news. I have my heart and my mind and my prayers set on the brace being taken off. I am trying to mentally prepare myself just in case life doesn't go the way I want but I'm failing. Luckily there is a Cheesecake Factory near the doctor so I can either drown my sorrows in some White Chocolate Raspberry or eat some celebration Red Velvet. There will be cheesecake either way.  

I know what they say about not worrying about tomorrow because tomorrow has enough worries of its own. I'm not exactly sure how to stop worrying though. With such a specific direction, there should have been an instruction manual included...or at least a couple suggested steps. 

Cheesecake. I'll focus on the cheesecake. Great...now I'm anxious and hungry. 

An Egg-stravaganza

That title? How cheesy can I get?! Not to worry. These darling pictures will make up for it.

What did the Easter bunny bring me? A super cute baby! 

Lessons From Lily

Two months! This little angel face has been here two months! It's hard to explain but this has felt like the longest and shortest two months of my life. I guess it mostly depends on the day. These two months have been full of knowledge. Here are a couple nuggets...

It is possible to consistently live on four hours of sleep. It's not fun. And, believe me, it sure isn't pretty. But when you have no other choice, it can be done. 

People always say, "Sleep when the baby sleeps." Sure. That's easy sounds enough. When the baby closes her eyes I will too. Except for the last 30 years I've been trained to sleep at night which, as it turns out, is one of the times babies don't like to sleep. I'll just disregard the last 30 years worth of sleeping patterns. No biggie. 

Poop really can be exciting. I see you rolling your eyes. You're thinking, "Ew. I. Would. Never." I thought that one time too. Silly naive little me. Today I've talked about poop six times and two of those times I was talking to strangers! Why? I don't know. I guess because I change about a zillion diapers a day. You go with what you know. 

People with multiple kids deserve cupcakes and lots of Starbucks and gold medals. How did my mom have three kids? I'm struggling with one that doesn't even move and my mom managed to wrangle three of us. Impressive. Sorry it's taken me 30 years to say this...bravo mom. Well done. 

If you ever wonder how to help a new mom, buy or make dinner. Best idea. Do you have a friend or family member or neighbor or mailman (actually mail woman) who recently had a kid? Buy that person a pizza or make some spaghetti or bring over some jello. The first couple days or weeks or months are weird. Eating just doesn't take priority. And to actually make food? Forget that!! Diapers and meals...that's what new moms need. And prayers. Lots of prayers. 

I'm not going to lie to you...these two months have been really weird and kinda hard. But they've also been totally awesome. Two down...about 600 more months to go. Surely at some point in the next 600 I'll get things figured out. Right?

Moments

Sometimes I feel a little like these days are sand...slipping, slipping, slipping away so quickly. I try to grasp at them, to catch the moments, but there are so many and they are coming so fast.

She's growing and changing more quickly that I ever could have imagined. Parents always say that but I've never understood. Time is time. It can't possibly speed up just because of a baby. But somehow it does. It flies by. Even though the days are long and sometimes the nights are too, I look back and wonder where it all went. 

 

Just a couple weeks ago she was a bundle of blankets. Now this bundle is smiling and kicking and rocking my world with her tiny cooing. Sometimes at night I feel like I can see myself looking at myself, trying desperately to make myself realize that I can't catch these moments when they are gone. I want to grab my phone and throw it so I look at her face, not the screen. I want to put down the camera and capture the moments, not on a tiny digital card but on the only place it really matters...on the folds of my heart. One day when she's old and I'm older, I can look back on these moments, on these tiny grains of sand, and grab one or two that have been locked away in my heart. 

This is what matters. Not cars or houses or tv or Facebook. This.