Perspective

Sometimes...actually most of the time...I place too much importance on unimportant things. I've noticed I do it a lot with parenting. I've read books and blogs and articles about the best parenting methods because I don't want to screw this up. Really, though, it's all confusing and kinda makes my brain hurt. Feed your kid solids at four months...no wait, six months. Let your kid cry so she will learn to fall asleep on her own...or don't because she will think you hate her and will grow up to never want hugs. Swaddle...stop swaddling. It's okay to hold her while she sleeps...or is it? There is an opinion about everything and an opposing opinion to go with it. And the end of every article/book/podcast sounds the same..."If you want your child to become an independent, happy person follow these 500 easy steps." The implications of not? A lazy, dependent kid who isn't a productive human, lives in the basement and leaves dirty socks all over. 

And then there are days when I realize how stupid all those opinions are. Either way, nursing or formula, this kid is going to grow. I'm making this parenting thing too hard. She will eventually eat solid food and someday her weight will probably jump out of the first percentile. Life is full of moments to be enjoyed. When I'm faced with the idea of mortality, all the opinions and books and articles and all that information fades away. We have today, maybe tomorrow, possibly the day after that. If something happened, would I regret rushing her growth? Would I wish I had held her for a nap or two instead of putting her down like all the books say? I don't want to live in a way that focuses on death but I wish I would live a life that focuses on life, on living it and enjoying all the moments. I sometimes feel like every decision I make has a long term impact. When I stack all the decisions up they probably do but mostly the long term impact, the way she grows up to view the world, the human she eventually becomes, is built when she watches me. Formula...eh, whatever. Mismatched clothes...sure, that's fine. Because, honestly, she will never be 142 days old again. So...I should hug her lots, hold her when she naps and let her suck on her toes even though it is kinda weird. Because those things are lasting, those things matter.