Choose Wisely

There aren't too many things that drive me crazy as a parent. Sure...it's a little annoying when Lily liked peas yesterday so I make a ton and then she decides she hates them. And I don't exactly love that Lily never takes long naps unless there is somewhere I have to be. I didn't bring an extra outfit? The container of wipes is empty? I didn't restock the diapers in the diaper bag? Obviously, there will be poop-related issues. Those things are minor annoyances that come with the parenting territory.

But there is one thing that hurts my heart and, simultaneously, enfuriates me. It's small...minuscule. There are comments that good people, well-meaning people, make and I'm afraid these comments will anchor themselves to Lily. They go something like this...

"She has red hair! You better watch out! She's going to have a temper!"

"A first-born, huh? Bet she runs the show at your house."

"Oh, she looks ornery. I bet she's going to be a trouble maker when she gets older."

I told you...it's small. It's nothing really. Except it is something. I know the power of words. I've seen words transform the way a person thinks about the world and the way a person feels while looking in the mirror. Words aren't nothing. 

I don't want Lily to think that her red hair gives her an excuse to not control her anger. So when someone makes a comment like that, I make sure to take a moment when we are alone to say, "Lily Girl, you get to decide who you are. You and God. You get to choose how you act...whether you are a trouble maker or whether you make good choices. Don't let someone tell you how or who you are. Let God help you figure that out."

I know I'm probably fighting a losing battle. I know, in part, we become who people think we are, who we are told we are. That's why it's important to set high (yet attainable) standards...because it shows kids you believe in them and you know they can reach those goals. In her life, Lily will constantly be told by tv and billboards and friends and teachers and by about a million other people who she should be. But I want her to know that she chooses. And I just hope she will choose wisely.